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This fabulous article by 'green writer' Gavin Hudson was shared originally HERE, on the site greenoptions.com. I loved it so much, I asked Gavin for permission to include it here - enjoy ;)
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As a species, we must look pretty silly in a number of ways. Here
are fifteen weird things we do from a squirrel?s point of view, along
with some daily ways that we can be a little more like the other
animals.
15. We spend as much effort packaging our food as finding and eating it.
So much of our food these days comes pre-packaged that we don?t think
twice about it. In order to package food in plastic, we spend billions
of dollars and lots of time locating and drilling oil around the world;
we then extract a chemical feedstock from the oil; we refine the
chemical feedstock into plastic and mould the plastic into packaging;
we take the shells off of things like peanuts and then put the peanuts
in plastic packaging.
Squirrel
says: ?How backward! I spend all day getting rid of my food?s natural
packaging: the shells. Plus, the shells biodegrade before next year?s
nuts ripen. Be more like the rest of the animals by eating food in its
original packaging.?
14. We drink the lactation of other animals. We farm
animals of other species?like cows, goats, and sheep?to harvest and
drink their lactation. We even sometimes ferment this lactation (cheese
and yogurt, for example) and occasionally go as far as to let mold grow
on it before eating it (blue cheese, for example).
Squirrel
says: ?EW! Be more like the rest of the rest of the animals by drinking
water and eating juice-filled fruits and veggies.?
13. We?ll eat just about anything. Don?t believe me? Look here.
Most animals have a pretty good idea of what foods they like and so
they stick to eating one type of food. Sharks eat fish, cows and horses
eat grass, most birds eat insects, fruit, or grain, and so on. We
humans will eat fruit, grain, insects, birds, vegetation, horses, cows,
fish, sharks, and more. Some people even eat cars! Our stomachs must
truly be one of a kind on this planet. I can just see Mother Nature?s
horrified expression, ?what do you have in your mouth, child?!??
Squirrel
says: ?That?s nuts! Or rather it would be nuts if I were eating it.
Pick a diet, you crazy species. You can be more like your ancestors and
relatives by eating more vegetables, nuts, and fruit and fewer weird
things like octopus, oysters, and buffaloes.?
12. We travel without actually moving. Camels walk to
find water, birds fly to find grub, and fish swim to get their food
too. We say ?I?m going to run to the store to get food,? but what we
actually mean is ?I?m going to sit down in my car and hardly move a
muscle while decomposed dino-gas pushes me to the store.? Weird, huh?
Squirrel
says: ?Wouldn?t you get out of shape this way? Plus, who would want to
avoid walking and running? I love to run and jump! I even have a cousin
who flies. Be more like the rest of the rest of the animals and try
actually walking or jogging to get food. You can even try wildcrafting,
like me.?
11. For such social animals, we?re lonely a lot.
We?re social animals by nature. We need other animals of our species to
love us and we need to love others as well. It?s almost as important as
food, water, and sleep for our survival. Yet, many of us travel alone
to work, feel isolated at our jobs, travel alone home, and take part in
solitary activities like watching television or spending time on the
computer. Instead, we could spend this time talking, walking, singing,
traveling, working, and playing with others.
Squirrel
says: "Play and socializing are important. Have you ever seen us
squirrels play? It?s a big ordeal. We?ll chase each other around the
whole wood, tumbling head over tail over head and jumping from branch
to branch. You?re a social animal, so socialize. Say hi to people,
smile, be friendly and warm, and be happy knowing that the people you
see around you are your kin and you?re one of theirs."
10. We spend most of our time working for currency, not food. This
currency verifies that we have contributed to our species? wellbeing
and success. We trade the currency for food. By contrast, most animals
bypass this complex social system and simply go and find food when they
are hungry.
Squirrel
says: ?You mean to tell me that if I were a hungry human, I couldn?t
just go forage food to eat? I?d have to build other humans burrows (or
whatever you call them) or do some other labor first and then ask for
food? Hm? it seems like a hard lifestyle. I usually find food and then
have lots of time to play with my family. Well, when you?re through
working and asking for food, I still highly recommend playing and
spending time with family. That?s my favorite part of the day. You
might also want to control your species? population so it?s not so much
work to support it.?
9. We make and hoard things we don?t need. With the
currency left over from buying food, we purchase things. We do this so
well that people are now often referred to as ?consumers.? Many of the
things we buy and keep have little or no utility, like electronic
singing plastic Santa Clause figurines. One of the only other species
that hoards shiny things it doesn?t really need is the magpie.
Squirrel
says: ?Why hoard anything you wouldn?t want to eat later? I don?t see
the attraction to big collections of plastic toys or closets full of
clothes unless you can put the clothes in a pile and make a nest out of
them. I hoard nuts and it?s all I can do to remember where I put those
when I want to eat them, so I don?t think I?d be very good at hording
all the things humans do. My motto is, if it?s not edible, you probably
don?t need it.?
8. We all seem afraid of the dark. There?s one thing
most animals know for sure: when it?s day, there?s light; when it?s
night, there?s dark. Now we humans are pretty easy prey. We have no
claws, no sharp teeth, no spikes or spines, we aren?t very strong or
fast, and most of us have more meat on our bones than we?d care to
admit. Somewhere along the line, we figured out that we?re less likely
to be eaten by nocturnal predators if we keep the nighttime light
enough that we can always see around us. Flaming torches turned into
electric torches, and even in our predator-free homes today, we still
have the lights on?just in case, you know. See an ant?s response here.
Squirrel
says: ?I understand. I mean, I?m a pretty easy target for predators
myself. But do at least try to keep the lights down when I?m trying to
sleep. If you want your lighting to come from sources that are
friendlier on my habitat and yours, buy green energy.?
7. We keep animals in our homes who would normally eat us for lunch.
OK, maybe wild dogs wouldn?t really eat us for lunch, but judging by
our folklore and fairy tails, I?d say that the relationship between
humans and wolves has not always been a favorable one. On the other
hand, traditionally, members of the cat species have found us pretty
tasty. We?ve managed to breed canines and felines until they depend on
us for food, not as food. Other animals that some people keep around
the house include boa constrictors, venomous snakes, spiders, rats, and
eels.
Squirrel
says: ?Are you nuts!?! This is a touchy subject for me. Cats and dogs
hunt my buddies and me. In some places, pet cats are even threatening
endemic native species. If you have pets, make sure they are spayed or
neutered. I don?t want a whole litter of whiskers and claws chasing my
tail.?
6. Our young spend most of their time stationary. Most
young people spend hours each day watching television and only a few
minutes each day engaging in outdoor, unstructured play.
Squirrel
says: ?We squirrels are way too rambunctious to be still for any amount
of time. It?s too much fun outside to stay in the burrow all day
staring at the wall. I couldn?t even imagine it. Plus, life?s too
short. Encourage your young to play outdoors and join them when you get
a break from gathering nuts? or money, or whatever it is you do.?
5. We heat our food before eating it. Unless you?re a
human, a domesticated animal, or an extremophile living on an undersea
volcanic vent, chances are you eat your food raw. We humans will do
anything to avoid eating unheated foods: we?ll bake, boil, saut?,
flamb?, steam, and even cook our foods by submerging them in boiling
lard and oil.
Squirrel
says: ?Why put food over fire before eating it? I don?t play with fire;
it frightens me. Plus, the food?s more nutritious raw, so I don?t have
to eat as many raw nuts to get my daily nutrition as I would if they
were cooked. I recommend trying to be a little more like the rest of
the rest of the animals by eating a little more of your food raw. Trust
me, it?s tasty!?
4. We eat poisonous and toxic things for fun. In most
of the animal kingdom, ?recreational drugs? would be an oxymoron. But
not for us. We eat poisonous mushrooms, we drink toxic levels of
fermented juice (hence the ?toxic? in ?intoxication?), and we refine
other natural toxins like coca leaf extract that we then proceed to
stick up our noses. Some of our species who aren?t content with these
milder poisons combine various ultra-toxic cleaning agents to make
super potent concoctions that we call crack or meth, they then proceed
to sniff, snort, lick, or inject into their bodies.
Squirrel
says: ?You eat toxins and poisons recreationally?? That?s nuts! Be more
like the rest of the rest of the animals by eating what?s good for you
and avoiding what?s not.?
3. We stick flaming pieces of paper and leaves in our mouths. We
spend a lot of time and effort to grow tobacco because it contains a
specific kind of toxin. We harvest and dry the leaves, cut them up in
tiny pieces, then add anything from ammonia to tar (see this
list of additives). We roll the result in paper, put it between our
lips?and this is the kicker?we light the whole thing on fire while its
in our mouths! Worse yet, we do all this just to breath in the
carcinogenic smoke that comes from this little roll of leaves and
additives.
Squirrel
says: ?HA! And you?re supposed to be the smart animals? Who does this
kind of thing??! Be more like the rest of the rest of the animals by
not sticking flaming, toxic pieces of paper and leaves in your mouths.?
2. We blow ourselves up. Like many species, we?re
territorial. However, most animals just pee on trees or beat their
chest to let others know where their group?s boundaries are. We launch
explosive rockets at each other and plant landmines in the ground so
that nobody can live there.
Squirrel
says: ?*Blank stare* What can I say about this? When I get in a fight,
I tumble and roll around with another squirrel. It?s a good way to get
the aggression out and the worst that happens is that somebody gets an
ear bitten. Some animals kill each other one on one, but it doesn?t
usually upset the whole ecosystem the way human wars and landmines do.
Just try and get along a little better, would ya? Smile and be friendly
with everyone and tell the people in charge to stop with all the
explosions already.?
1. We gave up living in trees to live in caves.
Somewhere along the line, our ancestors decided to give up the comfort
of trees to live in caves. Today, we fabricate multi-story caves out of
brick, stone, and wood and plant a tree in the backyard so we can see
it from the second floor of our cave-like home.
Squirrel
says: ?This is the first thing I don?t understand about people. I love
curling up in a small, cozy home. But at least some of you still have a
fondness for trees. Take a look at this person?s tree home. If you can?t live in a treehouse, at least plant a tree for me.?
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